what i'm saying is...
i just had the thought that i needed to find my voice
my authentic voice
the wizard on the hill in the dream voice
the speak your truth voice
but the only voice in my head sounds like donald duck
kinda like a bad george jones period
kinda like when you're talking to an overweight person
and this person is telling you about what they think about the upcoming election
and in your head this donald duck voice is screaming...you fat fuckin slob
so loud that you hold your hand over your mouth not sure if your really
screaming or it's just donald in your head
what i'm saying is...
moments of enlightenment burst like bubbles at a 5 year old's birthday party
and one day
after the call from the doc...cancer, heart attack, colon, car wreck
you realize you don't even know how to die right
and your laying there, your whole life a fuckin embarrassment
wishing you would have nailed that girl back in high school
wishing you would have built the raft and floated down the mississippi
wishing you were 16 again
wishing you knew then what you know now
wishing aliens would land and give you special powers
and realizing at the last moment
that your life was perfect

mark marchetti